My very first open letter and it’s to you, Typo. I thought I’d never write an open letter until I had something really profound and important to say. Like a virgin, I had it all worked out in my mind that my first open letter would be something truly special, not the conventional complaint-packed variety. But here I am writing a letter to you.
Though you are a product of my own doing, I must tell you: “Tjo, uyang’khipha ebantwini shame!” Okay, sometimes I type too fast and I send without double-checking but really, must I be the butt of so many jokes because you were spotted?
Typo, the last time you cropped up on my timeline, I trended on Twitter! Surely you remember that day. Does ‘Triple HHH’ ring any bells? I thought so.
Like I said, I know that you are the product of my carelessness but nawe you come through offside. My friend was just saying that as he was wrapping up an important letter the other day, you showed up. The intention was to end the letter respectfully with a heartfelt ‘Regards’ but when you got into the mix of things, the result was ‘Retards’. I wonder if the person who read that letter cared to note that ‘t’ is above ‘g’ on the keyboard.
Anyway, I don’t have much time. I need to get busy checking my other work to make sure that you won’t make a guest appearance there.
Typo, I just wanted to ask you to ease up and take a seat. I’ll do what I can to keep you away from the public eye. I’ll be thorough when I proof and edit my work. I’ll read my posts twice before I click ‘send’. I’ll do all that but, I need your help: you need to lay low and let me do my thing. Please.
P.S. I have checked this post to make sure we’re good but if you rock up here, well, imagine the irony…