Ladies, I want us to discuss that Shirley Brown, ‘Woman-to-Woman’ phone call for a little bit.

So, you went through his pants and found this phone number on a piece of paper in one of his pockets. Or maybe, he passed out and you seized the opportunity to go through his phone. Now you are stuck with Barbara’s phone number, a broken heart and anger for days. What next?

Well, ‘Sis Dolly’ can tell you what to do. I’m here to offer you what not to do. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, in the song, Shirley Brown is the only one who does the talking. For many years this song led many to believe that ‘Barbara’ is just sitting quietly on the other end listening to Shirley go on and on about what she’s bought this man and “how much she will do to keep him”. Brandy and Monica didn’t help things either with that ‘The Boy is Mine’ track.

Just enjoy the music by Brandy and Monica but, don’t make that call. Never call the other woman! – image - thefader.com

Just enjoy the music by Brandy and Monica but, don’t make that call. Never call the other woman! – image – thefader.com

In 2013, ‘Barbara’ doesn’t have time for that and she will let you know. The best advice I can give you is this; DO NOT CALL THAT NUMBER! The thing is, speaking to ‘Barbara’ won’t change the possibility that your man is seeking pleasure elsewhere. There is something in your relationship that you and your man need to talk about and find a way to resolve before you infect each other with all manner of diseases.

Calling ‘Barbara’ will achieve little if anything at all. Few women have left a man simply because they got a call from another woman telling them to do so.

Sometimes ‘Barbara’ thinks she’s wifey. When you call her, her first thought is: “Thabo has gone and brought his mistress into this.” Next thing you know, the two of you are telling each other what Thabo has done to show his loyalty to each of you. “He proposed last week.” “I met his mother.” Oh, the silliness!

Shirley Brown doesn’t give ‘Barbara’ a chance to talk in the song ‘Woman to Woman’. – image - soul11music.blogspot.com

Shirley Brown doesn’t give ‘Barbara’ a chance to talk in the song ‘Woman to Woman’. – image – soul11music.blogspot.com

Also, what if Shirley got it wrong? Let’s think about this for a second. What if the phone number that Shirley Brown found in her man’s pants was the number for the girl whose car he’s fixing? I say that because I’ve had a mechanic’s woman call me to tell me to stay away from her man . When you tell a woman that she has the wrong end of the stick, she flares up even more. I explained to her that it would be very hard for me to stay away from her man seeing as he had my car and still needed to fix the gearbox mounting on it.

‘Barbara’ could also be a man-eater who really couldn’t care less that Thabo is married as long as he is paying her rent and bills, she’s cool. The fact that you have been Thabo’s girlfriend or wife for the past six years just won’t move her. She’s not in it for anyone’s emotions, not hers, not Thabo’s and definitely not yours.

Sometimes ‘Barbara’ is only too happy to hear about your insecurities, and your outburst will entertain her and her friends for days. Sad, brutal but it’s been done.

Lastly, these days there’s also a little thing called the law. If you keep calling ‘Barbara’, she has every right to report you for harrassment. Remember that harrassment law that came into effect a few weeks ago on Freedom Day? Well, that law says ‘Barbara’ can report you and if you persist, you will pay a fine or be jailed.

I wish I could offer you words to make you feel better and give you faith in your relationship after your unpleasant discovery. It’s not easy coming to terms with the idea that your lover might have eyes for another. Believe this though, what you need to hear won’t come from me or ‘Barbara’, you need to sit down and have a word with Thabo.